Hip Hip Hoorah for Pictures

Here ye, Here ye... I haveth thy pictures....

List of pictures from top to bottom:

We were really that close to her airplane when they were leaving

The view outside their hotel room (check out the red phone booth!!)

Buckingham Palace

Westminster Abbey

London Bridge

Big Ben

Why God Hates Me and Other Nonsense

First off, I am so excited... my daughter's dance teacher and travel partner is coming over on Saturday so we can exchange pictures... whew. FINALLY! I mean it's only been almost 2 months. So, I will post some cute pictures when I get them. My daughter is still talking about her trip to London, it made a huge impression on her. Even though we live in Iowa, we live in a suburb, so therefore, no where near a farm or anything country. So, she comes home from London and exclaims, "I am a city girl, mom!" Which made me laugh, as I have always been a 'city girl' too. Naturally, she wants to move there...

This housing slump or whatever they call it, is such BS. My house got appraised last week, and WHAT A JOKE!!!!! Seriously, there is no way in this life time I would ever consider that price, it was an insult actually. So... I see myself staying there for a little while longer. I haven't decided if that is good or bad yet, either way, it is what it is.

Does anyone else love their husbands so much one day and want to kill them the next??? Or am I the only loon? We are still separated, and most days we are actually getting along really well and I see so much potential and feel so sure that this going to work out and everything will happen when it is suppose to. Then there are a few days, that I want to stab him in the eye. Sometimes I feel like I am alone with my craziness...

Is anyone else watching So You Think You Can Dance... which by the way, is my favorite show in the world. I am not a TV watcher by any means. I have no shows that are must see. I don't watch American Idol or Dancing with the Stars or Lost or any of those other hot shows, but SYTYCD is my MUST SEE. Thank God for Tivo, he is my best friend right now. I also kind of got hooked on A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila on Mtv... that was so dysfunctional, I couldn't help but LMAO. But that's over and crazy enough, Tila didn't find love, AGAIN! Go figure... Oh and I also watch most Sex and the City reruns on TBS and then watch them on my HBO Video on Demand... but that is whenever I feel like it, so no must see TV there either. Oh and SATC movie was freaking FANTASTIC! I know that is about 6 weeks late, since it came out the end of May, but Hey, I have been busy people!!!!

Well, that is enough senseless rambling for one post and I really should get back to work now :-)

The Big Day

First picture is of my oldest son after graduating, with my daughter (wearing the hat, of course!!!) Second picture is of my son and I. Then me, my oldest son and my middle son.

I am unable to sleep. I am so excited. Today is the BIG day!!!!!! She flies out today.

But really, I also wanted to post the other big day, too. My son's graduation pictures. He graduated from High School on Sunday. It was amazing, incredible and fantastic. I got a little teary eyed when they had their processional but after that I just sat there and smiled from ear to ear, it was so FUN, actually. I am really proud of him.

PS... I hate Blogger and their terrible picture layout format. I cannot make it look decent for the life of me...it's late, I tried. sigh......

Never Say Never

I have to say... I am even sick of hearing about my saga... but I just can't help it right now.

My husband had a mental break through, of sorts. Everything that I have been saying for the past 3 months FINALLY sunk into to his thick, think skull. I will not bore you with all the details but let's just say he has seen the light (that I am right) and wants to work things out. He is not moving back in right away, we are going to work through some things that need to be worked out and get through them now while we still have a chance to go back to our respective corners, if you will. I am cautiously very happy.

In other news, had a third interview with a company yesterday. A four (yes, you read that right, 4!) hour interview. It was grueling. I pray that I get this job, as I really want it. The company has everything that I have been looking for, so I am hopeful.

2 weeks till London!!!!!!! I have got to get a picture of my daughter in the ONE HUNDRED AND NINE DOLLAR jeans my dumba$$ mother bought her to take with her. Yes, in case you wondered, my mother is nuts. I don't even own a pair that are that expensive. But we are getting very, very excited as time draws near!

Next weekend is my son's high school graduation, too. So lots of stuff going on! We have two and half weeks left of school for the younger two, plus a dance recital the last weekend of May. So if I am absolutely crazy(ier) by June 1st, ya all know why!!!!!!

Happy Day!!!!

I got 5 inches cut off my hair... see --->

We went shopping and spent A LOT of money :-) My daughter got some of the cutest stuff eva!!! I will have to post some pics of her outfit when we have a few minutes.

Coming up this week... mani/pedi for me, me, me ,me..... cuz I am all about making myself better.

No real word from the husband, except that he is moving into his apartment today and he came over to get a few things... but I wasn't home. YEA! But my middle son was and they talked for a bit and it was all okay. I got this text message from him: "I'm sorry for so much, please know I feel the same way you do and love you with all my heart." Um... with all his heart... but not enough to be MARRIED TO ME or LIVE WITH ME. Apparently, he is the only freakin' one to see that there is something extremely wrong with that. But whateva!!!!!

Well I am off for a girls night out again with my sister and mom. YEA ME.

peace out.

One step forward, Two steps back

Today was definitely one of those days. I feel powerless and hopeless. I feel frozen inside. It's hard for me to get going. I have basically been doing just enough for myself and the kids to survive. Today I feel like one step forward, two steps back. I know tomorrow is a new day and I will beat this and come out the winner and he will be the loser. I am DETERMINED to have that outcome.

I have decided that I am not going to contact him. I usually email him or text him, just small things. Like we use to when we were together. But today I am going back to high school and I am not going to contact him. If he contacts me, it will depend on what he says if I respond. I need to make myself move "away" from him. I need to distance myself emotionally and mentally away from him. So, this is the only way I can think of to do that. I feel like I am 16 again... gawd.

He is putting his money down on his basement apartment today and moving some of his belongings tonight. Then this weekend he is moving the rest of stuff. GET THIS!!!!!! He said to me yesterday, "Can all of you be gone Saturday so I can come get my stuff without having to see any of you or face anyone?" I said, "UH NO, you are being a coward, you decided this and you can face the music just like I do EACH AND EVERY DAY" I couldn't friggin' believe it. What a baby.

Some good news - I have my hair appointment on Saturday, I can't wait. Even though I have no job, or no husband. I am going. And I am going to charge it on his credit card, just cuz I can (Hello, high school days?). Then I got money from my dad for my birthday and I am going to get a pedicure and manicure. Cuz I wanna. Also this weekend my mom is taking my daughter and I shopping for clothes for London. So, that should be fun. Considering my daughters favorite thing to do is shop, she will be pleased.

I am feeling better now. I started off this blog pretty depressed and really unable to get going. Now I feel energized and better.

IT ARRIVED!

The passport arrived!!!!!! It only took ONE WEEK from the time we went to apply for it. Now that's a $177 well spent!!!!! So, that's everything. She is signed up, tickets bought, hotel reserved. Now it's just a count down. 4 weeks to go...

Deep thoughts on such a sunny day

I keep trying to get to my blog and something happens and I get pulled away!

A few updates (with no hyper links because... um, I am too lazy):

• No word on the job yet, they are to make a decision sometime this week. But if this one doesn't pan out I have a couple more prospects so I won't freak out too much.
• Husband still gone. He is to make a decision this week and tell me this weekend what he wants. So, my life is limbo until he tells me what he wants. More on this in a minute.
• Passport applied for, haven't received yet. But they cashed my check already, so that has to be a good sign, right?!?!
• The tulips and daffodils have bloomed!!!!! IT'S SPRING!!!!!! Thank GOD!

So, my husband tells me that he will let me know this weekend what he wants to do. I am typically not a dependent person, I am very independent and can stand on my own two feet. But, I also enjoyed being married and having someone in my life that I thought was going to be there for me too. It hurts because I opened myself up to him and trusted him. I trusted that he would always be there for me and love me for as long as we were on this earth. I made it very well known that I had said for 10 long years that I would never get married again. That I didn't believe in marriage any longer. He came into my life and changed that. I gave him my heart and soul and my trust that he wanted the same things. It hurts me deeply to know that he may not have. He says it is not me, I am a wonderful wife and he loves me very much. He says that he just wants to be alone, not be responsible for anyone, not answer to anyone, to do what he wants, when he wants. I find this selfish and have asked him many times, why couldn't you of figured this out BEFORE we got married 10 months ago. He agrees. He doesn't want to hurt me. He doesn't want to make me cry. He doesn't want to hurt the kids. If he didn't he wouldn't of done this. Its very hard for me to understand and be understanding. I am trying. I am trying to be patient. So, in all fairness, that is why he said he will decide by this weekend. He has a lot to think about apparently. I have the divorce decree written and ready. If that is the route he decides I will be heartbroken but I will go on. I will survive and make it. I will be whole again, I know this. I have been through it before. I just never, never thought I would be going through it again.

Keeping my head above water

Whew... what a week.

Today we are getting the Passport ordered... to the tune of $177. That is the normal $60 fee plus the $25 additional fee, then the $60 expedited fee and then $16.95 x 2 for overnighting it to them and then back to me. So let's hope we get it in 5 weeks. They say it takes 2 weeks if you do it this way, let's hope! We have the plane tickets, the hotel room, and she is registered for her classes. It's real now!

I have a THIRD interview on Monday! Whew, this is the last interview. They will make a decision next week for sure, they said. This interview will be with other managers in the dept. So far all the well wishes and prayers have paid off :-)

On a very sad note, a boy in my oldest son's class committed suicide on Monday over a break up with a girlfriend. Very, very sad. Since graduation is about 4 weeks away. Please keep the family and the girlfriend in your prayers. I just can't imagine what they must be going through.

Oh and yesterday it was 77 here!!!!!!!!!! Uh, but today it is in the 40's and rainy... but we had an almost 80 day in April... it was great! I had some windows open and we were outside with no coats and capris it was wonderful. Rejuvenating!

Life in Overdrive

It has been a whirlwind of activity here since I last posted. I am exhausted but in a good way.

First of all, we are all doing okay since my husband and I have separated. I miss him greatly but we still talk and hopefully we can still work things out, it is still pretty much up in the air. The kids are doing well and we are just staying busy!

This weekend was c.r.a.z.y! We had dance stuff all weekend and both of my boys went with me and we had so much fun! My daughter did really well at her competition and was in some commercial the dance company made so she was on cloud nine.

The London plans are in FULL swing. We have the airline tickets booked and we are booking the hotel tomorrow. I faxed in her free certificate for all the things she gets to do. The passport is still a work in progress. I thought I had her birth certificate and since we literally were gone the whole weekend today was the first day I could work on the passport stuff. I do not have her birth certificate so now I get to go downtown to order/buy one and will get to pick it up Thursday morning and then go to the post office Thursday afternoon to get the passport going. I am paying extra for the expedited version and paying for it to be overnighted. I pray, pray, pray we will have it in the next 5 weeks before she goes.

I had a 2nd job interview today with the director of the department I am interviewing in! YEA! So the next step is getting called back for a third interview with other managers in the corporation. So, I pray I get the 3rd interview. They hope to make a decision by next week, so that is good. I just keep my hopes up.

I think that about wraps it up, it's been crazy but we are all hanging in there and making the most of things!

London

She's going, She's going!!!!!!!! Whoo hoooo! My grandma is paying for her plane ticket, so that means she can go. Gotta get her passport started right away and pay for it to expedited. Booking the flight and hotel tonight and she will be UK bound in about 6 weeks. I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!