Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Today I am going to go see my family doctor. It has been something I have been mulling over for awhile now. I am going to go talk to him about my emotional state. I have been thinking that I have had some form of depression for awhile now. It is hard to talk about to other people and it's even harder to talk to yourself about. I have some of the signs, but I fight them each and everyday. If I had my way, I would feel completely fine with staying in bed all day everyday. Now obviously I have a little more will power than that, so I don't. But it's the constant fight with my mind. It's tiring and it leaves little room to battle other things. Like everyday life. It feel likes to me that I am tredging through mud each and everyday. Laundry - seriously a moutain climb in my head, picking up the kitchen - a marathon, cleaning my house - torture. You get the picture. So everyday I have to fight all these thoughts and feelings JUST to go make dinner or pick up our bedroom or whatever. It's tiring. It's hard. And I want to make my life a little better. My kids, my husband and I deserve more.