Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Big Decisions

Today I am going to go see my family doctor. It has been something I have been mulling over for awhile now. I am going to go talk to him about my emotional state. I have been thinking that I have had some form of depression for awhile now. It is hard to talk about to other people and it's even harder to talk to yourself about. I have some of the signs, but I fight them each and everyday. If I had my way, I would feel completely fine with staying in bed all day everyday. Now obviously I have a little more will power than that, so I don't. But it's the constant fight with my mind. It's tiring and it leaves little room to battle other things. Like everyday life. It feel likes to me that I am tredging through mud each and everyday. Laundry - seriously a moutain climb in my head, picking up the kitchen - a marathon, cleaning my house - torture. You get the picture. So everyday I have to fight all these thoughts and feelings JUST to go make dinner or pick up our bedroom or whatever. It's tiring. It's hard. And I want to make my life a little better. My kids, my husband and I deserve more.

11 comments:

utmomof5 said...

I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I say do what you think is right for you and your family! Only you can know what that is, talk with your hubby and tell him how you are feeling. The doctor may have some really good advice for you and he may find a way for you to get feeling better. It can be a hard thing to talk about, I am glad you are talking about it with your blogging friends! Good Luck!

Christina

girlymom said...

I hope that the doctor is able to help you and will be a good listening ear because it isn't easy to say out loud. I think you are making the right decision and it's a HUGE step. Take care.

Holly said...

I wish I could give you a big hug. I'm glad you're going to talk to your doctor though. There are things that can help. We're here to listen and give cyber support when you need it!!

Bia said...

Maybe this is the first step in that you are acknowledging that something "isn't right". God bless, and I'll send some prayers your way today.

Pennies In My Pocket said...

I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. I've been there, done that. I think it is wonderful that you are going to talk to your doctor about it...that is a very healthy approach. Sometimes life just gets overwhelming and it helps to 'talk it out' with someone. Is there a counselor you could speak with? You'd be amazed how much it would help just to get things off your chest and have someone 'professional' listen even if it's just for them to listen and that's all. I call it an 'emotional tune-up'.

Hang in there, sweetie!
~melody~

Stacie said...

I hope you get some answers and some much needed peace!

good luck!

Cecily R said...

I'm glad you are getting some help. I hope you find the answers you need. I'll be thinking of you!

newduck said...

There's nothing wrong with that, and it sounds like you have a great attitude about it. Part of it might also have something to do with this heinous winter we're having. Um, when was the last time we saw the sun?

Jessica said...

Getting help is often tough but brave and the right thing to do... May I recommend you looking into a drug called Cymbalta? It has been working well for alot of patients here. The usual paxil and zoloft will work to. Keep in mind, if mood swings are an issue, a stabilizer would be best like Zyprexa. Some individuals only need stuff in the winter due to seasonal disorder. HUGS to you... I hope all is well....

Vixbil said...

Hi, just found your blog through another and just wanted to say well done. I am suffering with Post natal depression and the moment and have been on meds for the coming up a year now. It has made a massive difference and I know I would not made it through without them. Sometimes just talking about it helps too, with your husband, friends, bringing out in the open seems to make it so much easier to cope with and you also feel like you are not coping on your own. Good luck and god bless.
Vicki
xx

Valarie said...

You are definitely making the right decision. I have been on meds for depression now for quite sometime. I am a completely different person when I am not on medicine. It was really hard for me to take that first step and it was still a long road trying to find the right med and the right dose, but you will get there and you will be glad you took that step. Hope you get to feeling happier soon!