Monday, September 15, 2008
So today on my agenda of stuff to complain about... my marriage. So, i am pretty sure my marriage is over. I hate typing that out. I hate saying it. I hate thinking it. I HATE taking my ring off. I love my ring. It's so pretty and everything I ever wanted in a ring. This month marks the 6 month of living apart. We have grown comfortable in our distance and it really is getting farther and farther each day. We just don't see eye to eye on things and mostly him...he can't compromise or adjust. It's sad because the biggest part of me is sad because I am a failure again. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that. Seriously, how am I ever going to be in a relationship again with this? Not that I want a relationship but realistically speaking, I am sure someday I will want one...and what then? The ring and 2 time loser is what makes me the most upset...not necessarily losing the husband. Hmmmmm, something to ponder.
I have been reading some posts of all of you here and there, I haven't commented much, but I am trying to stay in touch. I MISS ALL OF YOU!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I am just finishing up week 2 of my online classes...and holy cow was it a slap in the face back to reality. This crap is a lot of work!!!!!!!! Dang. So, I am spending Tuesday and Wednesday nights plowing through homework, postings and trying to get everything posted by midnight Wednesday. I do little things during the week and weekend but I am so busy most nights, I find myself falling asleep at my computer.
To add to my delight (misery), I have started an extreme bodyshaping class. I started that this week. It is intense kickboxing 3 days a week and resistance training 3 days a week (yes, that adds up to SIX days a week at 6 AM... go ahead... tell me, I know I am nuts). Plus on top of that they give a nutrition guide to follow as well. So, naturally I got sick this week and am coughing up a lung and have had 2 asthma attacks. Oh the joys of Murphy and his dumb a$$ law.
Oh and my frickin cat has fleas. How does an INDOOR CAT GET FLEAS?!?! So, off to the vet we went last week and got medicine, household spray for when they start jumping off of him.
And then we have everything else in my life, being a mother to 3, keeping up on my house (hahahahaha, I was laughing so hard I almost feel off my chair), cooking - which I have been doing more of due to this nutrition thing I am following, and working 40+hours a week. And I wonder why I can barely find time to breathe....
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
In a nutshell - my middle son started High school in August, my daughter started 5th grade in August, my oldest son started College and I re-started College. Cuz really, I have nothing better to do with my time.
I have 8 classes left to get my BS in Accounting with a minor in Management. EIGHT CLASSES!! I said screw it, I am going to just buck up and just get it done. So here I am, enrolled in 2 classes this term, then 2 classes next term (terms are 8 weeks long) and I am doing it all online, a first for me.
My daughter is still in dance... we go 4 times a week. Plus still working full time and still loving my job. AND I am still a single mom AGAIN. No husband at home, STILL. It is almost to the point of no return in my book, but never say never. We all just spent a weekend at my dad's house up North. He lives on a lake and we had the best time ever... so who knows what will happen in the future.
I haven't been able to read much lately, but I will try hard to do so soon. I miss you all.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
This housing slump or whatever they call it, is such BS. My house got appraised last week, and WHAT A JOKE!!!!! Seriously, there is no way in this life time I would ever consider that price, it was an insult actually. So... I see myself staying there for a little while longer. I haven't decided if that is good or bad yet, either way, it is what it is.
Does anyone else love their husbands so much one day and want to kill them the next??? Or am I the only loon? We are still separated, and most days we are actually getting along really well and I see so much potential and feel so sure that this going to work out and everything will happen when it is suppose to. Then there are a few days, that I want to stab him in the eye. Sometimes I feel like I am alone with my craziness...
Is anyone else watching So You Think You Can Dance... which by the way, is my favorite show in the world. I am not a TV watcher by any means. I have no shows that are must see. I don't watch American Idol or Dancing with the Stars or Lost or any of those other hot shows, but SYTYCD is my MUST SEE. Thank God for Tivo, he is my best friend right now. I also kind of got hooked on A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila on Mtv... that was so dysfunctional, I couldn't help but LMAO. But that's over and crazy enough, Tila didn't find love, AGAIN! Go figure... Oh and I also watch most Sex and the City reruns on TBS and then watch them on my HBO Video on Demand... but that is whenever I feel like it, so no must see TV there either. Oh and SATC movie was freaking FANTASTIC! I know that is about 6 weeks late, since it came out the end of May, but Hey, I have been busy people!!!!
Well, that is enough senseless rambling for one post and I really should get back to work now :-)
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
I feel like a big heel... I posted once in the month of June. That blows... I have spent the last few hours reading several blogs and catching up and finding out what I have been missing the last month.
My last post described how busy I have been and honestly that hasn't changed. I feel like I am going in about 15 different directions but mostly I feel like I have no direction.
I really think that in the next few months (as soon as I find something close to me and acceptable for my standards) we will be moving. It will either be a condo or town home, to rent, not to buy. I have a buyer for my house that will purchase it as is. We have so many repairs and improvements that need to be done to it, it will be worth it for me to be out from underneath it, since my husband and I are still in a state of uncertainty. I have lived in my house for 18 years, so this is HUGE for me but it's also a relief too.
My husband and I are just there... nothing to really say, just nothing really. I am still in deep thought about that and what it means. I'm not ready to decide anything yet.
My kids are my life... they are doing great. I have been super busy at work and my two boys are both working. My oldest is working full time and my middle son is working at the same place but just part time, they are both doing really well. My daughter has been kept busy most of the summer and I can't complain. The only thing to complain about is not having enough time to get together with her travel companion and exchange pictures!!! My god, hopefully by the end of the damn summer I will have decent London pictures.
This is sad, but the biggest thing on my mind for the future is my middle son going to highschool this fall, my oldest starting college (living at home, though) and what studio my daughter is going to dance at and what we are doing about classes and what she is going to take. I am EXCITING... I know. I freaking almost bore myself!
One thing though, is I really do love my new job. It is going so much better than I ever thought it could. I cannot say enough good things about it. It is perfect for my personality, my style, who I am. It's amazing. If only everything else in my life could follow suit!
I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend and I vow to blog more... for my own sanity. I also will get caught up reading blogs and comment soon. I didn't comment today, but I have been reading. :)
Monday, June 16, 2008
1. Oldest son graduated from high school plus went on to intense training where he works and is now a shift supervisor and will make decent money while going to college in the fall.
2. Daughter went to London and back in one piece and had a GREAT time. They saw so many sights and had so many stories. One of the high notes was she took a class at Pineapple Dance Studio and it was a professional/advanced class normally only for 18 years +. He let my daughter take it with her dance teacher since she had no where else to go. At the end of the class he came up to her and congratulated her on a great job, she kept up with everyone else and he thought she was amazing. They got their picture taken. She also got her pic taken with another choreographer there and when she took her class, that teacher had her come up on the stage and do it with her for everyone else in the class. So she had a great time. I don't even have all the pictures yet, as her dance teacher that went with her, she and I have not had a chance to get together!
3. We had the dance recital. That was 5 days long. Not the recital, but the rehearsals, then 2 nights of recital.
4. I started my new job which I LOVE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to say this is the BEST job ever. So I am very happy, busy but happy.
5. Husband and I still separated but still talking. Nothing new there.
6. Thinking of selling my house and the kids and I moving into a townhouse. Less maintenance and less room, but much better for us to have to maintain and take care of.
7. My daughter tried out for a play at a theater and made the play!!!!!! This is something new for us and of course, taking up precious time. But she is thrilled, so that's what counts.
8. My daughter is taking a summer dance intensive every day for 2 weeks with my best friends daughter at a pre professional ballet company. So, that has kept me from getting home until after 6, as my friend brings them and I pick them up on my way home.
9. School is out and the kids are driving me crazy.......
10. My 20 year high school reunion was this past Saturday and I had the best time ever. We had so much fun, it was crazy. I was shocked at how wonderful it was and we all just got along like we never had left. Out of 215 classmates about 64 came back and we all talked and talked all night. Good times.
11. I think 10 is enough, don't you????????
Oh and on top of everything else... my state is floating away. I am safe and sound and DRY but the rest of my state is almost under water. So add that to the stress of driving to work when half of the roads are flooded...good times.
I miss you all and I hope to catch up this weekend, when I actually have some breathing room.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Also, this will be the brief version as I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off, as she leaves in ONE WEEK!!!! AND my son graduates from high school this weekend!!! AND I GOT A JOB!!!!!!! So I start Tuesday, naturally right smack dab in the middle of the craziest time of my life. Oh well. I GOT A JOB!!
So, I get a phone call on Tuesday... 9 days before she is to leave for London on this trip she won for DANCE, right! The dance company calls and tells me the convention is cancelled. They had "venue" problems. Can you say panic. Wanting to throw up. Wanting to die. Well, I pulled my $hit together and we made a game plan. They are giving her close to a thousand dollars to make up for the fact that she won't have a convention to go to. So with that money (and a trip that is already bought, planned and paid for!). She is going to London. It will be more of a sight seeing trip (like that is Bad) and she is also taking classes here!!!!!!!!!! Which is VERY exciting. They are world renowned. So this is what I have been doing the past 2 days, planning a trip ONE week before she is set to take off... call me super Mom, k?!?
Sunday, May 11, 2008
My daughter and my husband made me breakfast this morning. Both of my son's had to work this morning, so they weren't here. They both told me happy mother's day. I got cards and a movie I wanted. But most of all, I just love being with my kids.
My oldest has become my friend. He has matured so much this past year and we have always just "got" each other. The older he gets, the more evident this becomes. I don't just love him, I really, really like him a lot. If he weren't my son, I would choose to have him in my life. To be able to say for the past 18 years that I am his mom, has been fantastic.
My middle son has always kept my life interesting. He is someone that either makes me so proud I almost burst or so mad I almost explode. He is very hot or cold. But he has passion!!! He is the most loving child I have. He would give me the shirt off of his back if I needed it. He would spend every penny on someone else if I would let him. He is the most unselfish child I have ever met. The older he gets there are way LESS moments of anger and way MORE moments of joy. Being his mom for the past 14 years has left me breathless in anger, but more importantly love.
My youngest daughter is the heart and soul of this family. She has brought a smile to every face she meets. She is filled with pure love. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body and loves without inhibition. She makes me want to be a better person, let alone mother. Her brothers adore her, I adore her and my goal is to keep her innocence alive for as long as possible.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone!!!!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
My husband had a mental break through, of sorts. Everything that I have been saying for the past 3 months FINALLY sunk into to his thick, think skull. I will not bore you with all the details but let's just say he has seen the light (that I am right) and wants to work things out. He is not moving back in right away, we are going to work through some things that need to be worked out and get through them now while we still have a chance to go back to our respective corners, if you will. I am cautiously very happy.
In other news, had a third interview with a company yesterday. A four (yes, you read that right, 4!) hour interview. It was grueling. I pray that I get this job, as I really want it. The company has everything that I have been looking for, so I am hopeful.
2 weeks till London!!!!!!! I have got to get a picture of my daughter in the ONE HUNDRED AND NINE DOLLAR jeans my dumba$$ mother bought her to take with her. Yes, in case you wondered, my mother is nuts. I don't even own a pair that are that expensive. But we are getting very, very excited as time draws near!
Next weekend is my son's high school graduation, too. So lots of stuff going on! We have two and half weeks left of school for the younger two, plus a dance recital the last weekend of May. So if I am absolutely crazy(ier) by June 1st, ya all know why!!!!!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
After things calm down OR come to a head...whichever HE decides, I will write a follow up post. But right now things are just too raw, too emotional and just too much.
(there are a lot of really's in this post)
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
I have decided that I am not going to contact him. I usually email him or text him, just small things. Like we use to when we were together. But today I am going back to high school and I am not going to contact him. If he contacts me, it will depend on what he says if I respond. I need to make myself move "away" from him. I need to distance myself emotionally and mentally away from him. So, this is the only way I can think of to do that. I feel like I am 16 again... gawd.
He is putting his money down on his basement apartment today and moving some of his belongings tonight. Then this weekend he is moving the rest of stuff. GET THIS!!!!!! He said to me yesterday, "Can all of you be gone Saturday so I can come get my stuff without having to see any of you or face anyone?" I said, "UH NO, you are being a coward, you decided this and you can face the music just like I do EACH AND EVERY DAY" I couldn't friggin' believe it. What a baby.
Some good news - I have my hair appointment on Saturday, I can't wait. Even though I have no job, or no husband. I am going. And I am going to charge it on his credit card, just cuz I can (Hello, high school days?). Then I got money from my dad for my birthday and I am going to get a pedicure and manicure. Cuz I wanna. Also this weekend my mom is taking my daughter and I shopping for clothes for London. So, that should be fun. Considering my daughters favorite thing to do is shop, she will be pleased.
I am feeling better now. I started off this blog pretty depressed and really unable to get going. Now I feel energized and better.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I promise that I will not continue to whine about this stupid frickin' divorce much longer. But at the moment it's the only thing on my mind and it's kind of overwhelming.
I went to dinner last night with my husband, which was his idea. It was pleasant. I had NO expectations going into this dinner at all. Just a meal for my birthday. Which was a smart thing to do. He cried most of the time, I didn't. He is sad. BUT still wants to go through with all of this. Thinks there is no hope for us. Believe me, I have mentioned many, many solutions that do not include divorce and him leaving but nope, he knows this is the only way to solve "HIS" problems. I got no gift, no card, no nothing. But a few tears, a nice Mexican meal and a definitive answer on our failed relationship.
In further good news... I have no job still. The last place that I interviewed with THREE friggin' times... said they would call either way. Yea, no phone call at all. Is that rude or am I expecting too much? I would of liked to of known at least why they went with another candidate. I think that's only polite. But whateva. I have had two interviews this week and I am excited about them. I will keep plugging away and pray something comes along very soon.
Thank you all for your kind words and well wishes, they really do help me and keep my spirits up at this extremely crappy time in my life. It will get better, I know it. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
So, this has turned into a listening to onthegomom whine about her impending divorce blog. I promise it won't last forever. Just a few more whiny days.
My husband called me right at midnight to tell me Happy Birthday. I was pretty shocked. He also told me he loves me so very much. He also asked me to go to dinner with him tomorrow. So now I am a f*cked up mess. I want to believe him. I am going to go to dinner with him because I really want to. Even if it means I will come away hurt and reeling, I still want to. Again... my head is spinning (and I pretty sure it's not the Absolut Citron Vodka in my Diet Coke that is causing it. Pretty. Sure.).
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Talked to my husband on Friday night. Short version: he thinks the best thing for us (i.e. him) is to get divorced. Long Version: He just doesn't think he can do it anymore, he's never actually lived on his own, for himself, without responsibility, he wants to just do what he wants when he wants and how he wants. Ummmmm, okay. So you couldn't of thought of that, oh say... a mere frickin' 10 months ago?!?!? Who in the hell doesn't want NO responsibilities... but omg, that is part of life you selfish a$$hole. (I told you the anger phase was about to hit). I am so pissed off at myself (which I know is dumb) that I trusted him, let my guard down, I let him inside... you know the part that is vulnerable and you only let people you truly love and trust know and see... yea THAT part. And he basically ripped it apart and tore it down. I just hope someday its repairable... who wants to be alone for the rest of their life?!? Not me. It will take a LONG time to heal, though, if ever.
I don't want to be a bitter, lonely old lady. So, I am determined to buck up and move on and show him just what the f*ck he is missing. A$$HOLE!
Also for added joy, my birthday is in two days. Happy Frickin' Birthday....... here's your divorce!!!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
I am getting Divorced. I am going to be a twice divorced loser. I believe I am entering the angry stage of mourning. I've been sad for oh about 2 months, been calm, been respectful but now anger is starting to pick up speed. Should be fun. Stay tuned.
I think after I am a little calmer (read: I have some wine with dinner tonight with my mom and sister). I will fill you in on the details.
DIVORCED?!? Can you believe it? No, I can't either. F*CKER.
Friday, April 25, 2008
"NO, DON'T... I'M TOO YOUNG"
My 18 year old and, 14 year old and I busted out laughing. So that is our new answer to stuff we don't want to do. NO, I'M TOO YOUNG!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
A few updates (with no hyper links because... um, I am too lazy):
- No word on the job yet, they are to make a decision sometime this week. But if this one doesn't pan out I have a couple more prospects so I won't freak out too much.
- Husband still gone. He is to make a decision this week and tell me this weekend what he wants. So, my life is limbo until he tells me what he wants. More on this in a minute.
- Passport applied for, haven't received yet. But they cashed my check already, so that has to be a good sign, right?!?!
- The tulips and daffodils have bloomed!!!!! IT'S SPRING!!!!!! Thank GOD!
So, my husband tells me that he will let me know this weekend what he wants to do. I am typically not a dependent person, I am very independent and can stand on my own two feet. But, I also enjoyed being married and having someone in my life that I thought was going to be there for me too. It hurts because I opened myself up to him and trusted him. I trusted that he would always be there for me and love me for as long as we were on this earth. I made it very well known that I had said for 10 long years that I would never get married again. That I didn't believe in marriage any longer. He came into my life and changed that. I gave him my heart and soul and my trust that he wanted the same things. It hurts me deeply to know that he may not have. He says it is not me, I am a wonderful wife and he loves me very much. He says that he just wants to be alone, not be responsible for anyone, not answer to anyone, to do what he wants, when he wants. I find this selfish and have asked him many times, why couldn't you of figured this out BEFORE we got married 10 months ago. He agrees. He doesn't want to hurt me. He doesn't want to make me cry. He doesn't want to hurt the kids. If he didn't he wouldn't of done this. Its very hard for me to understand and be understanding. I am trying. I am trying to be patient. So, in all fairness, that is why he said he will decide by this weekend. He has a lot to think about apparently. I have the divorce decree written and ready. If that is the route he decides I will be heartbroken but I will go on. I will survive and make it. I will be whole again, I know this. I have been through it before. I just never, never thought I would be going through it again.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Today we are getting the Passport ordered... to the tune of $177. That is the normal $60 fee plus the $25 additional fee, then the $60 expedited fee and then $16.95 x 2 for overnighting it to them and then back to me. So let's hope we get it in 5 weeks. They say it takes 2 weeks if you do it this way, let's hope! We have the plane tickets, the hotel room, and she is registered for her classes. It's real now!
I have a THIRD interview on Monday! Whew, this is the last interview. They will make a decision next week for sure, they said. This interview will be with other managers in the dept. So far all the well wishes and prayers have paid off :-)
On a very sad note, a boy in my oldest son's class committed suicide on Monday over a break up with a girlfriend. Very, very sad. Since graduation is about 4 weeks away. Please keep the family and the girlfriend in your prayers. I just can't imagine what they must be going through.
Oh and yesterday it was 77 here!!!!!!!!!! Uh, but today it is in the 40's and rainy... but we had an almost 80 day in April... it was great! I had some windows open and we were outside with no coats and capris it was wonderful. Rejuvenating!
Monday, April 14, 2008
First of all, we are all doing okay since my husband and I have separated. I miss him greatly but we still talk and hopefully we can still work things out, it is still pretty much up in the air. The kids are doing well and we are just staying busy!
This weekend was c.r.a.z.y! We had dance stuff all weekend and both of my boys went with me and we had so much fun! My daughter did really well at her competition and was in some commercial the dance company made so she was on cloud nine.
The London plans are in FULL swing. We have the airline tickets booked and we are booking the hotel tomorrow. I faxed in her free certificate for all the things she gets to do. The passport is still a work in progress. I thought I had her birth certificate and since we literally were gone the whole weekend today was the first day I could work on the passport stuff. I do not have her birth certificate so now I get to go downtown to order/buy one and will get to pick it up Thursday morning and then go to the post office Thursday afternoon to get the passport going. I am paying extra for the expedited version and paying for it to be overnighted. I pray, pray, pray we will have it in the next 5 weeks before she goes.
I had a 2nd job interview today with the director of the department I am interviewing in! YEA! So the next step is getting called back for a third interview with other managers in the corporation. So, I pray I get the 3rd interview. They hope to make a decision by next week, so that is good. I just keep my hopes up.
I think that about wraps it up, it's been crazy but we are all hanging in there and making the most of things!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
So needless to say, this is the reason I haven't been actively around lately. I am doing okay. I mourned a lot before he even moved out and I was pretty good mentally by the time he moved out. My kids are doing remarkably well and we are a strong family unit and we can survive anything.
Unfortunately, my daughter won't be going to London. It is too much to plan in 8 short weeks, especially now.
Oh he told me this right after he told me to quit my job. So, now I am looking for a job. I have an interview tomorrow, wish me luck!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Good news. My daughter had a dance competition last weekend and won first place in a dance off (over 350 girls) and won a trip to London. OH. MY. GAWD. In May. As in less than 2 months. Not sure if I can swing that but OH. MY. GAWD. I was immensely proud and I am pretty sure I know what a heart attack feels like now, because when they announced her name as the winner my heart pretty much exploded.
She is in cleaning her room. She is moving around things, organizing, putting away, and I am blogging. Hmph.
No news on the job front. Still at home being as lazy as I can possibly get away with. Which does take some work to pull off, to be honest. But it is oh so worth it.
Well, I am off to go make dinner for the tribe so I can be a good stay at home mommy and feed my family. I mean we can only have sandwiches so many nights for dinner. RIGHT!?!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
My 14 year old son called me from the bus on his way home telling me he wanted Taco Johns. He came home and whined for about an hour about being so hungry he couldn't walk, talk or move. Okay, he couldn't talk but he could whine like a 2 year old. This proceeded for an hour.
Naturally, we had Taco John's for dinner. And of course, we ate dinner at 4:30 pm.
I know that it is perfectly normal to give into your 2 year old acting 14 year old. Right?!?!?
Oh well, he shut up and I didn't have to cook. I think it's a win win. My husband is on his own for dinner, only he doesn't know it yet. Except I don't care. Because he is on my not so nice list at the moment.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Okay, you have your guesses ready?!?
If you guessed that my quiet time of all the kids going back to school was OVER practically before it even began... then you are right-a-mundo!
I got a call from the elementary school yesterday afternoon at 1:47 pm. My daughter was in the nurses office sick. YES S-I-C-K. ONE half day after being home for 10 DAYS of healthy living!!!!!!!!!!
Dear God, It's Me Onthegomom. Are you there??? Because I'm not feeling it.
So, my dear 10 year old is home with me today. She is sick. She has a fever, stuffy nose and a headache.
Lucky, lucky me.
On the up side, my 14 year old son is in the midst of a growth spurt. He has slept the past 2 days (except he is going to school). Last week he ate me out of house and home, so I knew this week he would sleep non-stop and barely eat, that is his growth spurt pattern. I know this, because he did it in January and grew 1 3/4 inches in 3 weeks. (NO LIE). So while he is going to school, when he is home he is asleep, all evening and all night. I love this stage!!!!!!!!
No news about the 18 year old, he does his own thing. This whole "I'm an adult thing" has worked quite well. He checks in with me, he pays for most of his own stuff, he goes to work when he is suppose to. It's great. Now, if I could get his friends out of my house it would be perfect.... well they are out now because they are all back in school, it's just the weekends and breaks.
But the cat is being good and I am loving him more and more each day :-)
Monday, March 24, 2008
We had a low key Easter. Just went to my sister-in-laws house and home for the rest of the day. It was nice. FINALLY, all the kids had gone home by Sunday afternoon. So it was a peaceful evening.
Hope everyone had a very happy Easter!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Friday Through Wednesday - both girls here everyday, all day and all night
Friday through Right Now - 18 year old son, home everyday and most days has 1-3 friends over.
Friday through Monday - 14 year old son at friends house out in the country have a grand ol' time.
Monday through Right Now - home with his brother.
Wednesday through Right Now- Step son here.
That is a WHOLE house full of kids.
And that about sums it up for now... I promise I will be back much sooner!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Here are my ramblings... they may not make sense but I have to get them down to be able to sort through them and such.
Do I get another job right away? Well, I have been applying to several different places, but not so much as a phone call or email back in return yet. If I do stay home for awhile, I could finish my degree online (I have 8 classes left to have a double major). But this wouldn't start until May. So, my husband says we can take some of our tax return and use that for what would of been my income and live off of that. I have mixed emotions about that. I never wanted to spend it all, I wanted to save some. We don't have a huge savings, so if he lost his job...we would be screwed. But it would be so nice to stay home. I also feel some guilt with this decision too. It's almost as if I feel I am not worth it to be happy or have some relaxation time. I know that isn't the best way to think, but it does cross my mind.
If I do go to school, my student loans would stop so that would save us $$ each month, plus we could live off the extra money we get from the student loans.
It's all so up in the air. But I think I am leaning towards live off the taxes for a bit, go back to school in May and hope that some extra loan money will make up for the difference for the months I would be in school.
Does this idea sound crazy to anyone? Please give me your opinions and I won't be offended, I promise!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
My job was with a medical clinic where I trained all medical staff on computer programs. Our entire departments hours varies depending on where we are at that day. If we are at an office that starts at 7:30, we start our day at 7 or 7:15, if it's 8, then we start our day at 7:45. So, when I am at my desk for a day, my start time is 7:30. Mind you our ENTIRE department follows these same rules not just me. I was wrote up on Friday for have 31 tardies. Yes, coming in at 8, when I had a training class from 8 to 5, coming in at 7:45 when the office doesn't open until 8. I was furious. Why would they single me out? Well, as far as I can tell, from my bosses comment of (and YES SHE REALLY SAID THESE WORDS), "you need to decide if this job is the right job for you. If you want to be a mother or work here. Go home and talk to your husband and decide". So of course, she was shocked when I gave my notice on Monday. Because, really she didn't mean it that way. UH, OK. Not sure how else anyone could really take that. She told me that I was wrote up because her boss didn't like my PTO balance (paid time off bank) and she felt I needed to boost it. Oh ok. So, um yea, I QUIT!
I have applied at a few places. My husband is being the bestest ever. He is so supportive and caring. I have been kind of taken aback, actually. Because he hasn't always been the sympathetic type! He says to take a few months off. I just wish I could justify that financially right now. But I am not ready to take a few months off. If this were May, yes, but not March. I still have stuff to pay! So, we will make do right now and I will look. But above all, it's really not up to me or him, it's up to the Man upstairs. It's all in His plan, really.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
I am quitting my job tomorrow AND my last day is tomorrow. They can kiss it.
Friday, February 29, 2008
son: "I keep lifting weights and working out and I just can't gain a pound." (he says this with much exasperation)
me: "wow" (said with no sympathy)
This is genetic for him, he can't help it. It's genetic... from his dad.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I took my son to the dr yesterday to be tested for mono. He is about 25% better. He is back at school but can barely make it through the day. He is just NOT himself. This is the sickest he has ever been in his entire 14 years. So, the dr. wanted to be safe than sorry. So, he still has fevers at night but not during the day so much, still has a horrible dry raspy cough and stuffy nose, still has muscle aches and no energy, and then yesterday morning woke up with swollen glands in his neck and it hurt to even touch them. But he trudged on to school, he said he just couldn't miss anymore days. He really is a trooper. The dr. is still leaning towards a bad case of Influenza, since his spleen was normal size but wants to be sure about the mono. So in another day or so, we should know. I don't care what he has really, I just want it to go away!!!!!!!!!! I hate seeing my poor bubby sick. He is just always so resilient and healthy. It breaks my heart. And if he is complaining and wanting me to baby him, there is definitely something wrong!
The good news is, I am feeling a ton better. I mean I know it's only been 5 days of my wonder drug, but I can tell a difference in my energy level. And so far, no side effects, so that's GREAT! So there is a bright side to all this dreary.
YEA SPELL CHECKER IS FIXED!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
My 14 year old either has Mono or Influenza. He has been VERY ill since Tuesday. He is my healthy one! He always bounces right back. He had strep throat about 5 years ago and was nearly fully recovered in 2 days. My oldest son, my daughter and I are down for around a week. So it has really concerned me how sick he has been. I took him to the doctor Thursday morning, after having symptoms for about a day and a half. Well it was too far into the sympotms to test or treat influenza and too soon to test or treat mono. NICE. So, if he isn't better by Monday back to the dr. we go for blood tests. I hope he's better. He's with his dad today, they were going to lay low and play video games together, just guy time :-) So, I haven't talked to him yet to see how he is. Last night, still crappy. *sigh*
I am so excited! Today and Tomorrow's high is going to be in the thirties!!!!!!!!! It is like a heat wave. And after 2 plus feet of snow and below zero temps in the past 2 weeks, I am ready for a heatwave. But low and behold, winter will be back on Monday with a snow and ice storm. There is an end in sight... next weekend is MARCH. So that means only one more month of really crappy weather and it has to turn around in April. Good news!
I leave you with a picture of my oldest son and one of his best friends watching wrestling and acting as dumb and as funny as humanly possible. They make me laugh EACH AND EVERDAY! I love them.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
There is a person at my job that is mentally tiring. She basically verbally beats you up. I walk away feeling like I have two black eyes.
My personal life is going crappy. It's something I can't even talk about really. It's just emotionally raw right now.
We got 8 more inches of snow... but first we got freezing rain. NICE. We haven't gotten this much snow since I was a kid. It is CRAZY! My kids have missed more school this year than several past years combined.
AND when o' when will they fix spell check?!?????? *sniff*
Friday, February 15, 2008
It should be a fun filled weekend, my step son will be over and my son only has to work Saturday morning. This means that all weekend I will have no less than 6 teenage boys in my home all weekend. FUN!?!? I know... you are all so jealous. Try to contain it.... I will try to get some pictures to prove what fun is!
I am hoping to escape the chaos at some point with my daughter to try and find some form of girly time! We are going to watch my neice dance on Saturday night and then Sunday we will go to her Ballet practice. Thank God!
Took some online quizzes with my two teenage sons last night. That was dumb! I found out somethings I really never needed to know. Like, things girls have said to my 14 year old that cannot be repeated here. Or, things girls have offered to do to my 18 year old that I cannot repeat here. But the things I found out that were good, are my 18 year olds views on sexual relations with girls... very solid and mature. Whew. Let's just say my 14 year old has some wild ideas and needs to corralled and ideas beat into his head for the next 4 years but the good news on that is, I still have time to beat it into him!
My husband and I went to dinner alone last night. That was our gift to each other for the "hallmark holiday". It was just an excuse to not cook in my book, so I was alllll for it! The kids chose Taco John's to have. Uh ok. So they got their meal and we had ours. Seperate! :-)
Have a good weekend!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
I got this award from Jessica at never a dull moment!!!! I am so honored! Jessica's blog is always fun and enjoyable. She has an adorable daughter and is also a student AND works! You should go check out her blog, it's well worth it :-)
Thank you SO much Jessica, I truly appreciate it!
I would like to give this award to:
Girlymom at The Red Door. Her blog is always uplifting, fun and she usually has very cute photos of her four adorable girls!!!
Stacie at Stacies Madness. Stacie is always honest and her writing usually gets me thinking aftwards. I always enjoy her blog and seeing what she is talking about!
Cecily at my chaos my bliss. Cecily's blog is always funny, enjoyable and she, too, has posts of her three beautiful children. Cecily makes me feel like I am not the only person that has some of these crazy things happen to me. I love her blog and she has been so much fun to get to know better.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Let's start with the fun part. We got a foot of snow on Wednesday (on top of the 6 inches we got Monday). YEA!!! This meant no school and hubby and I stayed home too (that's where the cheering came from - YEA NO WORK!) A town about 45 minutes south of me got 12 inches of snow on Monday and another 12 inches on Wednesday - not pretty. It is down around where my step-son lives, he hasn't had school all week!! They had roofs collapsing (not his but in the town), their plow couldn't keep up (yes a single plow - it's a smaller town). It's just been a snow, snow, snow everywhere kind of winter!
I think since we have been cooped up all winter, the germs are everywhere. I am getting sick, again. Seriously, haven't I paid my dues this winter already. I mean I gave 6 weeks of my life up for bronchitis earlier this winter. It is in the beginning stages right now and I am trying to fight it off. I hope I succeed.
Let's see what else? I mean besides 18 inches of snow and sick? I have such a great and interesting life!!!!
My library books are over due, by a month. Need to get those back.
No birthdays to talk about. *whew*
Oh, next week is Valentines Day. But I am a Valentine's Day scrooge (I heard that saying on another blog and it cracked me up - but now I can't remember what blog!). I really don't like V Day, I really should be pampered all year long. NOT just one day. But I think hubby and I are going to actually do something special this year. 1. because we have some extra $$ 2. It's our first Valentine's day married. So, why not. What does everyone else do? Is it a big day for you or are you like me and usually it's just another day???
AND when in the H*LL are they going to fix the spell check?!?!?!?!?!?!? I NEED SPELL CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Last night I had the distinct pleasure of taking my daughter to the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert 3D Movie. Yea. That was F.U.N.
Here's a run down:
a $18 EACH to see the movie
a Obtain stylish 3D glasses
a Take picture of ourselves on crappy cell phone
a Be the only people in the theater (it paid to go on a Monday night apparently.)
a Buy a million dollar bucket of popcorn
a Be suckered into buying the large pop (it’s only 30 cents more!)
a Listen to my daughter sing at the top of her lungs to each and every song…
And for the record - Miley is adorable and such a good role model for young girls. There aren't that many to chose from these days. She and her family are a class act. I was happy to shell out the dough for something like this, plus it was better than taking her to the actual concert, where tickets sold out in minutes and then were scalped for hundreds - even thousands - of dollars. And we would of had to travel to another state to go see it. Yes, this was much cheaper!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Yesterday we spent the entire day at our daughter's dance competition. (As in 10+ hours!). It was all worth it :-)
My proudest moments were her two solo entries. She won a Gold Medal and 3rd place overall in the Lyrical category and another Gold Medal and 1st place overall in Musical Theater. I was so PROUD!
She did well in her duet and group dances, too. But her solo's were all her and her hard work. I couldn't be prouder.
On a side note: My son cried when I read him his poem on his birthday. Now, he is NOT an emotional person. As in since he has been in his teens and most of pre-teens I have probably seen him cry 3 times and they were all out of him being tired and frustrated with something. So, it was VERY heartwarming. And he loved it. I couldn't of been happier.
Hope you had a great weekend and I will I try to catch up on my blog reading tonight.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Why do the days drag but the years fly?
How can 18 years be gone in a blink of an eye?
It seems like only a short time ago that I was young and in love.
Carrying you, my first child, in my womb.
Preparing and decorating your first room.
The love I have for you is more than mere words.
Your smile, your laughter, you becoming my mainstay.
Nothing could have prepared me for this day.
Remembering you toddling around the house
Saying Fe Fow on Feet
And eating your mac and cheese
Watching you learn to read at lightening speed
Learn your colors,
Seeing you walk down the street for the first time to school.
Worrying out of mind to how your day will go
Counting the minutes until I see you out the window.
Sending my first born half way across the world
Watching you board an airplane for the first time
As I stand alone, left behind.
Praying each and every minute you were gone.
Such a short time for you
But forever, for me
Through tear laden eyes, watching you get on the bus for the first time.
Hoping, praying, wishing for your fast return
Nothing will ever stop my feelings of concern
Such excitement, just two short years ago.
On that first day, watching you drive down the street
My heart dropping down to my feet.
You are an adult, legal, can vote
Nothing can compare to this day, however
Where I pray that in your eyes I am not a failure.
You are the love of my life
A direct part of me
For always and forever, you will be my baby.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
A HUGE thank you to utmomof5 for my very, very first award. I am so touched and I will proudly display it for the 10's of blogging buddies I have!
Here it is in all it's GLORY!
Please go and check out Christina and her GREAT blog. She is a SAHM of 5 beautiful children. PLUS, she is really fun and geniune. I love reading her blog.
THANK YOU CHRISTINA for my very first award EVER.
And the award goes to:
1. Shelley at I Miss My Sanity. She has three beautiful daughters and has such a funny entertaining blog. She makes me laugh and always brings a smile to my face when I visit her blog. Plus, she is a Matchbox twenty fan! That's a definite plus. :-)
2. Desirae at Burnt Cookies. She has two adorable children and is a SAHM. She is rip-roaring funny and my side usually hurts after I read her blog. She is honest, sincere and hysterical.
3. A New Duck. She is pregnant with her first child and is a full time law student in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin. Her blog had me laughing out loud with tears coming down my face. She has a wicked sense of humor, which I love!
4. The More The Messier. She is a SAHM of 6 children, 2 of which are teenagers. She loves to knit, torture her 14 year old daughter by just her shear existence and remodel her home. She is HE-LARIOUS and I can count on her to always make me laugh or at least know that isn't just me having those kinds of days!
5. Valerie at Please Don't Put Those Beans Up Your Nose. She has four adorable children and is a SAHM. She lives in sunny, warm, beautiful Florida but that also means she has alligators, too. She is so funny, warm, honest and her blog reflects that. I always feel a little brighter after reading her posts.
As for me... I have been in a state of shock recently. My oldest is turning 18 tomorrow and I *gulp* am freaking out a tiny bit on the inside but remaining calm, cool and collected on the outside. HE has no clue I am freaking out. Which, I think, is a really good thing. I am sure when tomorrow is here and I get a little tear in my eye, he will know it's all out of love.
HOW IS MY SON EIGHTEEN???????????? Can SOMEONE please answer that question? How did that happen? Where did the time go? I use to think my mom was full of crap when she told me it would go by in a blink of an eye. Of course, that was usually said when I was cleaning up some body fluid off the floor, or holding him while he was screaming, or when he was driving me insane to watch a movie for the 35th time that day. I use to think...RIGHT, it doesn't go fast...the time is actually crawling at a snail's pace until this kid sleeps through the night or off the bottle or potty trained or goes to preschool or goes to school or can stay home alone or can drive. That is just something you say to make a new mom feel better when they are ready to snap! BUT OH NO PEOPLE... IT GOES BY IN A NANO-BLINK OF AN EYE. And then they are 18... *sniff*. And there you sit, 38 years old, and wonder where in the h*ll did the time go?
Friday, January 25, 2008
She happened to find my blog (I am shocked but thankful) and I stopped by hers and found she is funny, smart and an amazing give awayer. Check her out.
Here are the rules:
Link to the person that tagged you
Post the rules in your blog
Share six non-important habits/quirks/things about yourself
Tag 6 random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
1. (habit) I bite my fingernails. Not quite down to the cuticle but they are short. Two of my three kids bite theirs too and it drives me crazy. But what can I say to them, when I do it, too! I want to stop but I just can't. What can I say... I don't smoke, barely drink, don't do drugs...it's my only vice!
2. (quirk) I have to have lotion on me at all times. If I run out and do not have any in my purse, I feel all panicky. I lurvvvve lotion! I use it about 10 times a day on my hands alone. I also lotion up every single morning and night before bed. Did I say I love lotion?!?
3. (quirk) Before I get into bed the covers and the sheets have to be made correctly (as in MY way) otherwise it drives me NUTS! I don't necessarily make my bed everyday but no matter what, before I get into bed, it will be made and tidied up for me to climb in! My husband on the other hand, will sleep with the covers all cockeyed and tangled and just a mess... seriously, what is wrong with him?!?!?
4. (quirk - geesh I have a lot of quirks apparently) When I get to work I have to open all my software applications in a certain order. Otherwise, it drives me crazy (not far to go, obviously). If for some reason, one freezes and I have to close it and then re-open it and it is then out of order, I am all out of whack. (Gawd, I need to get out more.)
5. (habit) I check my email routinely (i.e. obsessively) every day... all day. Very rarely do I go a single day without checking it. It kind of drives me mad (okay I sense a repetitive piece in all of my habits/quirks - just about everything drives me nuts/crazy/mad... hmmmmmm. Something to ponder) to think there might be an email that is waiting for my reply or someone (gasp) has left me a comment on my blog and I haven't seen it yet!
6. (thing about me) I love to text message. I admit it. I would rather text than talk on my phone. Not to brag, but I can text without looking at my phone pad - and I don't have the phone with the texting keypad - No sireeeeee, I text on my telephone pad. However, I do NOT text thousands of messages a month like my 14 year old does, but I have sent about 300 this month!
WOW, that was hard... but I did it. Probably because most of the things about me are consequential :-)
I will tag anyone that would like to participate. If you are having trouble with coming up with a post... then you can consider yourself tagged!
Thanks Desirae and Shelley for the tag!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I spent last night watching Bravo, specifically The Real Housewives of Orange County, then the pre-showing of The Real Housewives of New York, then The Millionare Matchmaker. Hmmmm, they were interesting. I discovered that people have lots and lots of money out there and I have obviously missed the boat! I need to lose 100 lbs, cover up the gray hair, overhaul my wardrobe and hey, maybe I can meet my millionare. Oh wait... I'm married. Sheesh.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
We got more snow last night. Another 3 inches or so. It's still freezing out, too. My two youngest ones have been begging to go outside and play in the snow. It's just been soooo, soooo cold (as in less that 10 degrees everyday), so tonight it was a balmy 14 degrees, so I let them go out and burn off some energy. They had a blast. They are now drinking a big cup of hot chocolate and warming up.
I stayed home from work today. I didn't feel well but it was more of a mental health day. I have been vegging out all day. I really, really needed this.
Well, instead of droning on and on about nothing, I will sign off and be back soon....hopefully I will have my sense of humor back!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
My youngest, my little baby girl is now in double digits! It just doesn't seem possible. Happy Birthday Sweetheart!
Friday, January 18, 2008
So, I get home last night about 4:30 and those sweet, little angels had taken down my tree. They got the boxes out of the basement, lugged them upstairs (well the 18 year old did), my daughter took all the decorations off, my 14 year old son took the entire tree down and then HE carried all the boxes downstairs (mind you he is a tad over 5' tall and barely breaks 100 lbs....LOL). I seriously got all misty eyed when I got home. They were so proud. My daughter, "Look mamma, look what we did for you!" My 14 year old, "We wanted to help you out."
It was seriously one of the nicest things they have ever done for me. I don't even care how they packed up all the stuff. But next year when I go to get out the decorations and they are all askew... remind me of this. Now I just have one question, where are my kids and who took them?!?!?