Monday, September 15, 2008

I miss stuff

I really miss reading every one's blogs. I miss knowing what's going on and who's' doing what. It sucks. I am up tonight doing my homework. We had a big group project due Tuesday and we needed to have out stuff turned into tonight to our group so we can compile it tomorrow. Fun Stuff.

So today on my agenda of stuff to complain about... my marriage. So, i am pretty sure my marriage is over. I hate typing that out. I hate saying it. I hate thinking it. I HATE taking my ring off. I love my ring. It's so pretty and everything I ever wanted in a ring. This month marks the 6 month of living apart. We have grown comfortable in our distance and it really is getting farther and farther each day. We just don't see eye to eye on things and mostly him...he can't compromise or adjust. It's sad because the biggest part of me is sad because I am a failure again. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that. Seriously, how am I ever going to be in a relationship again with this? Not that I want a relationship but realistically speaking, I am sure someday I will want one...and what then? The ring and 2 time loser is what makes me the most upset...not necessarily losing the husband. Hmmmmm, something to ponder.

I have been reading some posts of all of you here and there, I haven't commented much, but I am trying to stay in touch. I MISS ALL OF YOU!


Cecily R said...

You are NOT a failure. I'm sorry things aren't working out the way you wanted, but I do not believe you're failing. And you are certainly not failing your kids. And that is important.

Stacie said...

I agree with are NOT a failure. The marriage failed, not YOU.

I know that is easier said, but it is true. It just didn't work out...and HE MOVED out, don't take all this blame on yourself. You don't deserve it!


Valarie said...

I agree with the two ladies before me. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out the way you want it to. You are not a failure. Look at what you have done with your life since your husband moved out.....YOU ARE AMAZING!
Oh, and in reguards to your last post....ummm, isn't complaining what a blog is for???

ame i. said...

I'm new here (I think) but I'm sorry, girl. I don't know you, but that doesn't matter. I still don't think you are the one who failed. Really, what are you supposed to do if he won't even try to compromise?
My late-husband became a bigger jerk than usual after our first daughter was born, even more of a jerk after our second came along 2 years later. When divorce was discussed, he went back and forth between fighting me for full custody (he never once got up with a baby/toddler) or living out of his truck after draining all our accounts.
One night I thought to myself, the only way out for me is if he dies in an accident. He was diagnosed with cancer 2 months later, lived almost 2 years to the day after diagnosis.
Although I didn't think I EVER would, I remarried in October of2007. This is the first marriage for my new husband, no children of his own. If not for the fact that my children wouldn't be the same,I would wish I had met and married him first.
Sorry for so long a comment but my point is: There ARE wonderful men out there, I promise.
Take your ring to a jeweler,have it melted down and redesigned and wear it on another finger. You earned it.

Kathy said...

You are NOT a failure. I've been there and done that so I can really relate. The marriage might not have worked, but you are still a strong, smart woman. THink of all the things you have accomplished and hang in there. We are all here if you need us.

Kathy said...

I understand missing stuff. I blogged today for the first time in two months. I just get so busy and don't have time or forget! We're still here though so don't feel too bad.

Stacie said...

:( hope you are well!