Friday, October 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I also love fall because it's FOOTBALL season baby! I have spent the whole day today watching football with my 16 year old son. Pure heaven!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
It's going well with the husband and I. It's been an adjustment living together again and it hasn't all been rays of sunshine but for the most part it is great being back together. Marriage is work and when you are alone you don't have to work on anything if you don't want to :)
Our summer so far went from 60's and raining to BAM 90's and muggy, hot and shitty. Since I hate the heat, I wasn't thrilled.
Must run now, but will be back soon!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
- So, it has really effected me that one year later I am in the same place I was last year. It will be exactly one year tomorrow that my husband and I have split up. And I am the same fucked up mess I was a year ago. One thing that has gotten under my skin is an acquaintance friend of mine and her husband split up almost at the same exact time we did and both her and her ex-husband are REMARRIED! Not that I want to be remarried, cuz I don't but OBVIOUSLY they have both moved on and they don't find themselves sitting here going, "well shit what has changed in a years time??"
- Still cry - check
- Still love my husband - check
- Still hate that we are separated - check
- still want to be with him - stupid dumb check
- Sits and asks herself each and everyday why she can't move on and lead a normal life - BIG FAT check
- Wonders if she needs to go back to the dr. and talk to her about changing her medication because it isn't working *obviously* - CHECK and CHECK and CHECK
- Wants to run away but thank god has her kids so she doesn't - check.
I hate april 4th.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Not for this dumb ass. I go and pick up my daughter from dance. I get the check out of my purse (MISTAKE #1) and hand it to my daughter (MISTAKE #2) and say don't let me forget to take this to the boat rental place on our way home. She says, "sure" cheerfully. On our way home we stop by our house (MISTAKE #3) to get the mail and I run inside (MISTAKE #4 - do you see a pattern here?) to grab something. And we go home...
Yes, we went HOME. Uh, forgot about the check AND LOST IT. My husband texts me the next morning and says "did you get the check to the boat place okay". I freaked the f*ck out. Shit shit shit. I looked all over for that check and couldn't find it. I got the distinct pleasure of telling my husband that I managed to lose a check in ONE 25 minute drive from point A to point B. I suck
Sunday, March 15, 2009
1. Daughter had the flu - passed it to me - passed it to middle son. Oldest son escaped somehow.
2. My step-son's house burnt down. Yes, burnt down. It was horrible. They are all safe and okay, thank god. But they lost everything. His mom's car was parked in the garage and caught on fire, which by the time she figured it out the garage was engulfed in flames. It's a horrifying experience.
3. My dad was downhill skiing Friday night (he is very active, in great shape, and is 62). They were on their last run and he fell (not sure if he passed out or what, since it was an easy hill and he is good at skiing) and hit his head pretty hard. He was disoriented, they rushed him to the local hospital and did a CAT scan and found blood on his brain. So they then rushed him to the state university hospital and did another CAT scan and there was no more or less blood on his brain, so they think it's a concussion. He came home yesterday afternoon and sounded good on the phone.
It's been a hellish week. On top of an ongoing divorce, being freaking broker than broke, kids, work - now all this. I am just so thankful that everyone ended up okay after this hellish week.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
So for dinner last night AND tonight I have eaten Bacon Cheddar Cheese and Ritz crackers. It's from Wisconsin. It's freaking good. Last night I had 4 glasses of wine with it too. Tonight I am having Lemon sparkling water - 1 liter of it. Probably to counter the wine from last night.
I have been watching movies and movies and more movies. I watched Nights in Rodanthe last night and I cried, no make that sobbed and bawled. (adding that to the list of movies I am incapable of watching - that includes PS I Love You, as well) Then I watched Cast Away on TBS, oh and I cried at the end of that too... when Tom Hanks is found and comes back to a married Helen Hunt (OMG... I cried). Tonight I am watching Old School with Will Farrell... I am sure I won't cry in THIS movie! My son rented W. (um he is NOT a W fan and since this was his first year to vote AND he voted in a monumental election AND voted for our new president, I am not sure why he rented this... but whateva). If I am in the mood I might watch that later, too. I live on the edge I tell you.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My husband and I are in the process of finalizing our divorce. He has been gone almost a year... hard to believe (no hyper-links because I am wayyyyyyy to lazy for that, I mean I just started posting again!) It is just time to move on. The sad part is taking off my ring. I mean there is a MARK on my finger where it has been for 2 1/2 years (including the engagement period). So that part sucks. I'm mostly just void of feeling. Mostly. I really don't know how someone moves on after something like this. I mean I have moved on before... I have been divorced before and exited a long term relationship. But geesh, those were easy compared to this.
I have laundry all over my dining room floor. It's clean. I haven't put it away. Why, I don't know. If anyone came over to visit I would die. I mean seriously... all over the dining room floor. Did I mention I am only half moved, so I don't have my dining room table here yet. Yea, just clothes on my floor from this weekend's massive laundry doing fest.
The last month or so I have been watching my ex husbands dog when he has stuff to do or goes to his girlfriends house. OMG... I luuurrrvvee this dog. Seriously. She is so cute. She has floppy ears and piercing eyes that just dance. Then she pooped on my living room floor. Yea, she is on suspension right now.
I better head off to bed. Tired and getting a headache. I shouldn't drink so much organic white tea.
Friday, February 20, 2009
An update of sorts since the last time I have been here.
1. We moved. We are in a brand new 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo and I love it. I still have the house and we haven't gotten everything out of it but all essentials are here.
2. My middle son changed high schools and is living with his dad during the week so he can go to school in a town right next to where I live (like 5 minutes away). So that has been a big adjustment but it has done wonders from him, he really likes his new school. His other school had 5 suicides in it in 5 months... big problems going on and I am so glad he got out.
And everything is just about exactly the same since last Sept! Sad but true. Still separated from my husband, absolutely no changes there. We are moving towards divorce not reconciliation. It would have to take a LOT to achieve that.
My daughter is still dancing and she is growing up so fast. She just turned 11 and is growing up by leaps and bounds, scary actually.
My oldest just turned 19 and it is quite concerning to be a mother of a almost NOT teenager! Which means the year he turns 20, I turn 40...holy shit where did the time go.
My middle one will be 16 this Sept and that means another driver in my home. Hard to believe.
I'm still at the same job and I still love it. It has been almost a year and it has flown by..