Letter to my son

Where does the time go?
Why do the days drag but the years fly?
How can 18 years be gone in a blink of an eye?

It seems like only a short time ago that I was young and in love.
Carrying you, my first child, in my womb.
Preparing and decorating your first room.

The love I have for you is more than mere words.
Your smile, your laughter, you becoming my mainstay.
Nothing could have prepared me for this day.

Remembering you toddling around the house
Saying Fe Fow on Feet
And eating your mac and cheese

Watching you learn to read at lightening speed
Learn your colors,
Your ABC’s.

Seeing you walk down the street for the first time to school.
Worrying out of mind to how your day will go
Counting the minutes until I see you out the window.

Sending my first born half way across the world
Watching you board an airplane for the first time
As I stand alone, left behind.

Praying each and every minute you were gone.
Such a short time for you
But forever, for me

Through tear laden eyes, watching you get on the bus for the first time.
Hoping, praying, wishing for your fast return
Nothing will ever stop my feelings of concern

Such excitement, just two short years ago.
On that first day, watching you drive down the street
My heart dropping down to my feet.

You are an adult, legal, can vote
Nothing can compare to this day, however
Where I pray that in your eyes I am not a failure.

You are the love of my life
A direct part of me
For always and forever, you will be my baby.

My Very First Award

A HUGE thank you to utmomof5 for my very, very first award. I am so touched and I will proudly display it for the 10's of blogging buddies I have!

Here it is in all it's GLORY!

Please go and check out Christina and her GREAT blog. She is a SAHM of 5 beautiful children. PLUS, she is really fun and geniune. I love reading her blog.

THANK YOU CHRISTINA for my very first award EVER.

{{{HUGS}}}


And the award goes to:

1. Shelley at I Miss My Sanity. She has three beautiful daughters and has such a funny entertaining blog. She makes me laugh and always brings a smile to my face when I visit her blog. Plus, she is a Matchbox twenty fan! That's a definite plus. :-)

2. Desirae at Burnt Cookies. She has two adorable children and is a SAHM. She is rip-roaring funny and my side usually hurts after I read her blog. She is honest, sincere and hysterical.

3. A New Duck. She is pregnant with her first child and is a full time law student in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin. Her blog had me laughing out loud with tears coming down my face. She has a wicked sense of humor, which I love!

4. The More The Messier. She is a SAHM of 6 children, 2 of which are teenagers. She loves to knit, torture her 14 year old daughter by just her shear existence and remodel her home. She is HE-LARIOUS and I can count on her to always make me laugh or at least know that isn't just me having those kinds of days!

5. Valerie at Please Don't Put Those Beans Up Your Nose. She has four adorable children and is a SAHM. She lives in sunny, warm, beautiful Florida but that also means she has alligators, too. She is so funny, warm, honest and her blog reflects that. I always feel a little brighter after reading her posts.

MIA

I've been missing in action these last few days. I tried to sit down last night and visit everyone's blogs I usually go to and wow, I had missed out on a few days! I didn't make it to everyone's but close... so I will try to continue to check them out much later tonight.

As for me... I have been in a state of shock recently. My oldest is turning 18 tomorrow and I *gulp* am freaking out a tiny bit on the inside but remaining calm, cool and collected on the outside. HE has no clue I am freaking out. Which, I think, is a really good thing. I am sure when tomorrow is here and I get a little tear in my eye, he will know it's all out of love.

HOW IS MY SON EIGHTEEN???????????? Can SOMEONE please answer that question? How did that happen? Where did the time go? I use to think my mom was full of crap when she told me it would go by in a blink of an eye. Of course, that was usually said when I was cleaning up some body fluid off the floor, or holding him while he was screaming, or when he was driving me insane to watch a movie for the 35th time that day. I use to think...RIGHT, it doesn't go fast...the time is actually crawling at a snail's pace until this kid sleeps through the night or off the bottle or potty trained or goes to preschool or goes to school or can stay home alone or can drive. That is just something you say to make a new mom feel better when they are ready to snap! BUT OH NO PEOPLE... IT GOES BY IN A NANO-BLINK OF AN EYE. And then they are 18... *sniff*. And there you sit, 38 years old, and wonder where in the h*ll did the time go?

Very Cool Blog

Check out this blog: Pennies In My Pocket. Her name is Melody and she has three (yes, I said THREE) giveaways going right now. For instance: New Year Giveaway.
She happened to find my blog (I am shocked but thankful) and I stopped by hers and found she is funny, smart and an amazing give awayer. Check her out.

Six Inconsequential Things

I got tagged by two people to play Six Inconsequential Things about myself. (I am very popular, you know). Desirae at Burnt Cookies and Shelley at I Miss My Sanity tagged me. I have no idea what I am going to say about myself, this might take me a week to dream up something. But I will give it a whirl....



Here are the rules:

Link to the person that tagged you

Post the rules in your blog

Share six non-important habits/quirks/things about yourself

Tag 6 random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.

Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.



1. (habit) I bite my fingernails. Not quite down to the cuticle but they are short. Two of my three kids bite theirs too and it drives me crazy. But what can I say to them, when I do it, too! I want to stop but I just can't. What can I say... I don't smoke, barely drink, don't do drugs...it's my only vice!

2. (quirk) I have to have lotion on me at all times. If I run out and do not have any in my purse, I feel all panicky. I lurvvvve lotion! I use it about 10 times a day on my hands alone. I also lotion up every single morning and night before bed. Did I say I love lotion?!?

3. (quirk) Before I get into bed the covers and the sheets have to be made correctly (as in MY way) otherwise it drives me NUTS! I don't necessarily make my bed everyday but no matter what, before I get into bed, it will be made and tidied up for me to climb in! My husband on the other hand, will sleep with the covers all cockeyed and tangled and just a mess... seriously, what is wrong with him?!?!?

4. (quirk - geesh I have a lot of quirks apparently) When I get to work I have to open all my software applications in a certain order. Otherwise, it drives me crazy (not far to go, obviously). If for some reason, one freezes and I have to close it and then re-open it and it is then out of order, I am all out of whack. (Gawd, I need to get out more.)

5. (habit) I check my email routinely (i.e. obsessively) every day... all day. Very rarely do I go a single day without checking it. It kind of drives me mad (okay I sense a repetitive piece in all of my habits/quirks - just about everything drives me nuts/crazy/mad... hmmmmmm. Something to ponder) to think there might be an email that is waiting for my reply or someone (gasp) has left me a comment on my blog and I haven't seen it yet!

6. (thing about me) I love to text message. I admit it. I would rather text than talk on my phone. Not to brag, but I can text without looking at my phone pad - and I don't have the phone with the texting keypad - No sireeeeee, I text on my telephone pad. However, I do NOT text thousands of messages a month like my 14 year old does, but I have sent about 300 this month!

WOW, that was hard... but I did it. Probably because most of the things about me are consequential :-)

I will tag anyone that would like to participate. If you are having trouble with coming up with a post... then you can consider yourself tagged!

Thanks Desirae and Shelley for the tag!

Party like it's 1999 (or 2008)

I stayed up partying with my laptop last night until midnight. It didn't even mind that I hadn't taken a shower all day, nope sure didn't. It loves me unconditionally... well unless it's about ready to burst into flames then it doesn't love me as much. But we won't talk about that because it's all in the past, forgive and forget, right?!?

I spent last night watching Bravo, specifically The Real Housewives of Orange County, then the pre-showing of The Real Housewives of New York, then The Millionare Matchmaker. Hmmmm, they were interesting. I discovered that people have lots and lots of money out there and I have obviously missed the boat! I need to lose 100 lbs, cover up the gray hair, overhaul my wardrobe and hey, maybe I can meet my millionare. Oh wait... I'm married. Sheesh.

Happy Thoughts

It's back! My laptop... fixed and all better. And it was fixed for FREE!!!!! Oh how I've missed it. It died 19 days ago. It was a lllloooonnnngggg 19 days, it seems like it has been months!

We got more snow last night. Another 3 inches or so. It's still freezing out, too. My two youngest ones have been begging to go outside and play in the snow. It's just been soooo, soooo cold (as in less that 10 degrees everyday), so tonight it was a balmy 14 degrees, so I let them go out and burn off some energy. They had a blast. They are now drinking a big cup of hot chocolate and warming up.

I stayed home from work today. I didn't feel well but it was more of a mental health day. I have been vegging out all day. I really, really needed this.

Well, instead of droning on and on about nothing, I will sign off and be back soon....hopefully I will have my sense of humor back!

The Girl Turns 10

My baby turns 10 today. Last night she had her slumber party with some friends. We went swimming at our local gym where we are members, ate pizza, had cupcakes and ice cream sundaes and then listened to 4 pre-teens GIGGLE until 1 am. It was a fun night!

My youngest, my little baby girl is now in double digits! It just doesn't seem possible. Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

The. Best. Kids. Ever.

Wednesday night into Thursday morning we got 6 inches of snow and single digit weather. So, the kids didn't have school yesterday. I stayed home in the morning with them and didn't come to work until 10:30. It was rejuvenating to be home with them, even for just a couple of hours. Well, it was too cold outside to go play out in the fresh snow. Plus, our snow isn't really for playing in... we have so many layers of snow, ice, snow, ice...etc. And I had threatened them to NOT go out and they listened!

So, I get home last night about 4:30 and those sweet, little angels had taken down my tree. They got the boxes out of the basement, lugged them upstairs (well the 18 year old did), my daughter took all the decorations off, my 14 year old son took the entire tree down and then HE carried all the boxes downstairs (mind you he is a tad over 5' tall and barely breaks 100 lbs....LOL). I seriously got all misty eyed when I got home. They were so proud. My daughter, "Look mamma, look what we did for you!" My 14 year old, "We wanted to help you out."

It was seriously one of the nicest things they have ever done for me. I don't even care how they packed up all the stuff. But next year when I go to get out the decorations and they are all askew... remind me of this. Now I just have one question, where are my kids and who took them?!?!?

Happenings

I haven't blogged all week because, well, I just didn't have anything nice to say. And you know the saying...

The only things I have to talk about are 1. my absolute loathing of my job (already worn out my welcome on complaining about that, I feel). 2. me missing my laptop. 3. being broke.

Hmmm, I started this blog to talk about my family, my kids and try to throw some humor in every now and a again (not that I did it well, but I try!). So, I have thrown in the towel this week because my kids have done nothing cute or daring or dumb or anything to write home about.

I also am sorry I haven't visited everyone else's blog and been commenting. The lack of my laptop and my job stress at an all time high, I haven't been able to. I miss you guys!!!!!!!!!

On a happier note, my daughter is better. I didn't even need to take her to the dr. LOVE THAT!

Oh and my tree is still up....

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly...

1. The Good - My laptop was returned to me on Friday! I cannot even begin to tell you how thrilled I was!!!!! Happy, ecstatic, amazed - to name a few.

2. The Bad - My daughter is sick again. She has had a fever since Friday of 101. We are rotating between Motrin and Tylenol and that seems to be helping some.

3. The Ugly - Plugged in the returned laptop to charge it - smelled as if it was going to burst into flames at any moment. It's going back to Dell Monday.....

All in all...

All in all, the day ended yesterday just fine.

My husband, as usual, was more than grateful for how we spent his birthday. I was, as usual, way to hard on myself.

Yesterday I called him, I text him and I emailed him Happy Birthday wishes.

I made dinner last night and we ate it ALONE (my oldest son was asleep after working the 4 am shift, my middle son was at his friends house for dinner - his friend is moving this Friday and they have been best friends for 6 years, my daughter was at dance). It was great to sit and TALK uninterrupted. When our daughter got home she had painted some ceramic mugs for him and gave them to him for his gift. We gave him all his cards. For his birthday he is getting a new big screen somethingoranother monitor, so he is excited about that.

Then later he got the gift he really wanted. *wink*

So, all in all it ended up fine.

How to Celebrate Your Husbands Birthday

1. Over sleep by an hour and half and fly out of bed like a mad women.
2. Grab cell phone and call boss (who is already on your last nerve from the day before... but I digress).
3. Run downstairs and wake up 14 year old son who's alarm clock is broke and I have been waking him up for the past week.
4. Almost trip over cat running downstairs and almost die (at this point would of been a blessing).
5. Run back upstairs (and almost have a heart attack from running all over the effing house).
6. Grab clothes off hanger and throw them on my body.
7. Answer Husband's question of "Is there anything I can do to help?". Which was "no".
8. Throw my hair in a pony tail and brush my teeth.
9. 14 year old son tells me has missed the bus.
10. Say naughty words under my breath, as it's not his fault.
11. Throw keys at 14 year old son and he goes to start the car (it's back down in the 20's again, so must pre-heat car again).
12. Grab my lunch and set husband's out on the table.
13. Yell "I love you, Goodbye" to husband.
14. Take 14 year old to the H*LL they call a Junior High and spend 20 minutes trying to get out of parking lot.
15. Get out finally and get on Interstate.
16. Discover you forgot Husband's birthday.
17. Burst into tears....

I will Survive

I survived the first day of my new life. It wasn't that bad. I haven't weighed myself yet, so I don't have a before weight. Should do that soon. I have not made it to the gym yet. That's 0 for 2. I won't give up though. I will make it there. Plus they have a scale.... I do not. So that is where I plan on weighing myself every week or whatever I decide on.

The dinner I made last night was an easy, low calorie, lower in fat Chicken Caccitore (sp???) and between my husband, all the kids and myself, we ate it all. No crying, no fit throwing. They all ate it without complaint. WOW.

During the day while I was at work I was surrounded by a basket filled with chips and candies, peanut M&M's and tortilla chips. I also gave up a free lunch of Panera for my own lunch I brought. My lunch was extremely good and I was proud of myself for bypassing those bad for me items. I ended up feeling really good about myself at the end of the day when I didn't touch anything extra. I also learned that I didn't need it either. I was NOT hungry at the end of the day.

My Dell was shipped off yesterday. I am seriously still giddy over the fact the warranty is still good. Things like that just do not happen to me. At home, I do have the other laptop but I am not using it as much, so I have been using our archaic desktop. At first it was soooooooo slow but the more I use it, the faster it is. Well, maybe I am just becoming accustomed to the slowness. Which does not say much for my mentality, does it?

D Day - T minus 5.5 hours and counting

Tomorrow is D Day! I think I am all prepared. I went and spent $252 at the grocery store. Nice investment right there. I had to get meals for breakfast (most important meal of the day that I usually skip... no more my friends), lunch (to take our lunches, no more fast food or Mexican, or things like that) and of course dinners (No more pizzas, Chinese, etc.) and then a few treats (that are healthy). No that's not to say those items are out forever but definitely this week and until we are eating healthy enough that we can control ourselves when we DO eat those types of foods. It's a learning process. So it's not really a diet in my mind (although I am calling it D Day) it's an entire lifestyle change. I have other things in mind to incorporate into it as time goes by...eating more wholesome, natural, organic items for one. Although this kids will eat the same main meals as we do, I did get them a few more extra snacks. All 3 of my kids are VERY thin and all very much in excellent shape, so they deserve an Oreo! Plus I bought stuff I really won't want to sneak a piece of, so I was smart too. (HAHAHAHAHA!)

The regime we are following is on www.kraftfoods.com. It's under the Healthy Living section and if you sign up (FREE and no spam, etc. involved) you can take these quizzes and come up with a meal plan for the entire week, including exercise and calculating calories, fat, calories you burn, etc. It is an quite extensive website, even if you aren't looking for a lifestyle change, it has a TON more... I haven't even tapped into most of it yet and I have been looking around it for quite awhile now.

I am going to go the gym too. We have had a membership for 2 years and we SUCK at going. I mean SUCK. SO, we also need to start going. The really bad part is, my job hours this week aren't my normal hours and I am not going to be able to stay at the gym as long as I normally will when my hours go back to normal, next week sometime. But it's always good to at least start, right?!?

A few other miscellaneous items - my laptop is awaiting it's priority box to arrive so it can be shipped back to Dell (or wherever) and be fixed. Yes, I have an external Hard Drive that has a simple USB cable and I back up EVERYTHING I need, I do it as I save the item. So, it's all secure. YEA. I recommend this, but you have to be diligent about saving your files ROUTINELY!!

Check out manic mom and her Donate Blood contest she has put together. I have never donated and am scared to death of needles as stated here, but I am going to try really, really hard to work up enough nerve to donate blood so I can be in Manic's really cool contest, you should too!

The Best News In The Whole Big Wide World

5 simple words, but yet so very powerful -- 42 days left on warranty! Seriously, can you freaking believe it!!!!!?!!!?!!!?!!!?!!!!?!!!!?!!!!?! We had FORTY-TWO days LEFT on our warranty on my laptop. IT WILL BE FIXED FOR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I love you warranty, I love you laptop, I love you husband for making sure we even had a warranty and to check it out and to send it off and to have it fixed for FREEEEEEEE!!!!!! I love the whole world right now :-)

In 2 short little weeks my life will be whole once again....

And Then It Was Dead

It died.

I want to pretty much hurl myself out of a window. But refrained for the kids' sake, I mean who would feed them if I were gone?

My laptop...which my husband gave me... B.R.O.K.E. sniffle I first noticed that when I was lounging in bed with my beloved (the laptop, not the husband) the plugger cord thing wouldn't stay in the hole tight and secure. NO problem, I thought, I just pushed it in harder, I mean that *should* fix it, right!?!? uh, no. Then I just moved my legs... my legs people!!!! I, then, lost all ability to charge my laptop. Yep, no connection at all. No need to panic, right? I am sure the plugger thing just needs to be pushed in harder into the little hole. Damn, no such luck. NO charge. *sniffle* It's kind of a key element to my lil' laptop.

Defeated, I took the laptop to my husband in his office and said, "honey there seems to be something wrong with my little charger thing and the plugger". (It should be noted that he is a Network Administrator and does this for a living, I on the other hand work in IT but know nothing about computers, per se.) He takes one look at it and gets PISSY! (seriously, what nerve!!!!) Proceeds to tell me that the plugger box (i.e. insert very technical name here) is completely broke and it is a MAJOR (EMPHASIS ON THIS) part. It isn't easy to fix and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... I quit listening after I asked, "So, you don't just have the part laying around you can fix it with?" (Since his room is filled with needless computer parts - sure they have a purpose, but I don't know what it is so it is needless!). He says, "NO, it's a MAJOR (FURTHER EMPHASIS) part!" *sniffle* I walk away....

FINE... I have my books from the library I need to read, I think to myself. I can read, ha! I don't need my laptop anyway, we have 2 other desktops in the house, no biggie. I need to read more anyway and not spend so much time working looking at blogs nightly.

W.R.O.N.G. My laptop and I were one. We were connected on a much deeper level. She (cuz it was a she) understood me and what I wanted. But she just couldn't keep up and she got tired and just gave in. *sigh* This all became so clear when.....

.... tonight my husband brings me another laptop, gets it all set up and hands it to me. I swear he has some magic pile in that room of his, because I honestly don't know where it came from.... but I don't care. I HAVE A LAPTOP AGAIN. No favorites or anything, but it has wireless Internet and really what more could a girl ask for?

Hello 2008!

I am excited for this new year. I have great hope that it is going to be the best year yet. Although 2007 was filled some really great things, um, I got married to the best guy ever. I was ready to leave it behind and start fresh today!

First to tie up some loose ends:
1. The Radio City Music Hall Rockettes Christmas show was INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! It was beautifully danced with amazing precision. I was absolutely amazed and in awe. It was just beautiful and fantastic.
2. We drove 85 miles one way to see my step son sing (he is a christian rapper with his own CD out... quite gifted) last night, and he fell ill and couldn't do it. He was dizzy, nauseous, headache and looked like CRAP!! I felt soooo sooo bad for him, he was so looking forward to performing. So, we drove back home without seeing him perform. At least we were home by midnight :) I made it to 12:30 before I fell asleep.

My 2008 New Year Resolutions:
1. Lose weight - my class reunion is this year and I need to lose some weight, so this is not just the proverbial lose weight that I set forth each year. I really have to this year. So, I am going to reduce my calorie intake, watch my fat intake, and exercise A LOT more. I have a plan in place and now I just need to follow it!
2. Quit my job!!! Yes, I get to quit my job. My husband and I have devised a plan that will allow me to quit my job in the next few months. Which, now I can quit b*tching about it :)
3. To keep a better house, get my laundry done in a timely fashion, cook more.
4. De-clutter even more of my house. Get those items I need to sell onto Ebay.
5. Enroll my daughter in a classical ballet company and take her out of her current dance studio next fall. This one will be a hard one, as we have many friends at our current studio but I believe that this will be the best move for my daughter in the long run.
6. Live more frugally this year and try to eat more organic and naturally.
7. Learn to knit and do more crafty things.
8. Keep on blogging.

I wish everyone peace, prosperity, health and happiness in 2008!!!!!